Review: 'Texas Chainsaw 3D' (2013)

Review's a little late, but oh well.  A direct sequel to the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre -- hell yeah!  Every little bit of info we learned leading up to the release of this film was enough to make any TCM fanboy weep with joy.  How could you not get excited for this -- a direct sequel to the 1974 classic?!  Sure, it disregards 1982's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2, 1990's Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III and 1994's Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation but who cares?

In a world filled with remakes and reboots (which the series did get in 2003), this showed that there is still hope of reviving a franchise/brand with a good old-fashioned sequel!  Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the nitty gritty.

The film isn't very good.

It had its moments, don't get me wrong.  The opening title sequence may be the greatest title sequence I have ever seen in my entire life (and that seems to be the consensus with a lot of horror moviegoers) -- a sweet 3D rendering of the final moments of the original made for a nice "hit the ground running" sort of start.  But after that, the film sort of halted...immediately.

The story picks up in present day, introducing us to our heroin Heather, played the absolutely stunning Alexandra Daddario -- and then later her boyfriend Ryan (Trey Songz) and her friend Nikki (Tania Raymonde, who I mostly remember from TV's Malcolm in the Middle), Nikki's friend (gay friend?) Kenny (Keram Malicki-Sanchez) and then later on a nice-at-first hitchhiker Darryl (Shaun Sipos).

TC3D, at times, felt like a 90s teen slasher, which normally I'd be giddy about, but not for a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie.  I was hoping and expecting a little more raw, gritty, day-time killing.

As for the humanization of Leatherface, get over it.  In fact, the character was never really dehumanized.  Granted, he wields a chainsaw and wears human skin, but the fact remains that even in the 1974 film the character was very much humanized (watch it again).

The continuity is a little shaky, but I'm willing to look past that.

I never really felt any sympathy for any of the characters as they were eliminated one-by-one, but there actually was a time in the film when I did not want ole Leatherface to get it -- which basically sets up the predictable ending.

SPOILER ALERT!:
Good girl goes bad.

Is there room for a sequel?  Yes.  Is there an actual story to tell?  Actually, yes.

SPOILER ALERT!:
Burt Hartman's son Carl is still alive and would probably very much like to avenge his father's death.  "We take care of our own," as he tells Heather.

All in all, Texas Chainsaw 3D is a fun, but not very smart, flick.  It serves its purpose, I suppose.  Do I personally want a sequel?  Hell yeah!  Also, the film could've served just as well with the use of 3D, but then again, that badass title sequence wouldn't have been so effective.

MOST POPULAR ON SEQUEL BUZZ THIS YEAR...

HORROR ICON: INSIDE MICHAEL'S MASK WITH TONY MORAN Documentary Teaser Is Here

J.J. Abrams On The Lack Of Luke In STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Media

Spidey 3.0 Is Officially SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING (Updated)